My Story

For over 30 years, I carried a secret that was never mine to hold. As a child, at 7 years old, I was sexually abused by my first cousin—someone I should have been able to trust. He threatened me, saying if I ever told anyone, he would do the same thing to my older brother. Out of fear and love for my brother, I stayed silent.

That silence haunted me for decades. For most of my life, I believed that staying quiet had protected my brother—that enduring it alone was the only way to keep him safe. But in 2018, I learned the heartbreaking truth: he never kept that promise. While he was abusing me, he was also abusing my brother—using the same exact threat, just in reverse.

The betrayal ran deeper than I imagined. We were both trapped, carrying the same unbearable secret, each trying to protect the other—while he continued to hurt us both.

On February 7, 2018, I found the strength to confront him face-to-face in front of my family and extended family. I told him exactly what he did to me.

For the first time, I chose me--my truth, my voice.

They called me a liar. They said I made it all up. Some dismissed it with, “things like this happen all the time”—as if what happened to me and my brother was normal, something I should bury and forget.

They worried more about “what will people say?” and “What about the family’s reputation?” than about what had been done to us. Protecting the family name mattered more than protecting us.

Even when other known victims came forward, they continued to support him. They shunned me and my family for speaking the truth—choosing silence, shame, and reputation over accountability.

But I refused to be silenced ever again.

Writing Bad Secrets became my way of taking my power back—of reclaiming my voice after years of being silenced. This book is my promise to every child who has ever felt scared, ashamed, or alone: You matter. You deserve to be heard. And none of this is your fault.

I created this platform because too often, especially in our South Asian community, we avoid these conversations. We bury them in fear, in shame, in silence—leaving our children unprotected. I’m here to change that.

My mission is to break the cycle of silence, to give children and families the language and tools they need to talk openly about body safety, boundaries, and secrets. Bad Secrets is more than a book—it’s a starting point for the conversations we all should be having.

No child should carry the weight of someone else’s shame. It’s time to protect our children—and it starts with speaking up.

Victim no more--Alpa